The Dying Womb Within

I created this series, “The Dying Womb Within”, as a way to process my dysphoria. My uterus is quickly becoming useless, just an extra unneeded body part.

For those unaware, masculinizing hormone replacement therapy 1) raises your testosterone levels, 2) decreases your estrogen levels over time. The estrogen will continue to be produced as long as the appropriate organs (uterus) are functioning. Testosterone levels will eventually overtake estrogen levels. Eventually, a trans man taking testosterone will reach the same levels as a cis man.

So in essence, my uterus is still producing estrogen, even though HRT has overtaken it long ago. To me personally, it feels like a useless and unnecessary part of my body. The process for approval of a hysterectomy can be lengthy and requires multiple letters from doctors and behavioral health specialists.

All that being said, each painting of my uterus is meant to look dead, and decaying. I accomplished this by painting a uterus infested with maggots; a uterus six feet under and growing mushrooms; and a uterus being devoured by vultures.

Art doesn’t always have to be beautiful. Sometimes art can be about our fears, about challenging comfort zones, and about self expression of our deep dark thoughts.